I'm Wearing My Superwoman Tights

Nights like tonight, I'm glad I'm single. I just got home from a longish day selling stuff at one of my 3 jobs, an outdoor recreation retail establishment, which isn't a bad way to spend the day, but damn I feel like an old lady with my aching back and feet!

The second I got home, I put on my "my roommate's not home, I'm keeping the thermostat at 65" pajamas: thick bright blue tights, scrubs, a navy blue silk undershirt, and an orange tshirt. I'll probably throw on my green wool socks and sherpa hat before the night is over. Now, come on, who wouldn't want to fall in love with and marry THAT?!

On the agenda tonight?
1) eat Thanksgiving leftovers (I finally ran out of Honey Nut Cheerios)
2) get some work done for one of my other 3 jobs (coordinating stuff)
3) laundry
4) hot cider with rum
5) 13 Going On 30
6) bed by midnight (or else I'll turn into a horrible bitchy woman in the morning)

See? I've got no time for a man in my life. At least not tonight . . .

The ABC's of Me

Thanks to Coal Miner's Grandaughter for this one that lets me be a little lazy today and post without thinking too hard!

Accent - I grew up in the south, but in a metropolitan area so I don't think I have much of an accent. However, I've noticed that when I spend an extended amount of time with people who do have think accents, or if I'm really tired or have been drinking a lot, I suddenly adopt a bit of a southern belle twang.

Breakfast - Cereal, of course! Honey Nut Cheerios, Kashi Go Lean, Frosted Mini-Wheats, and granola are among my favorites. I use soy milk on my cereal and usually just take a giant swig out of the orange juice container rather than dirty up a glass.

Chore I Don't Care For - Washing dishes and laundry. My future prince charming will list these as his two favorite chores.

Dog or Cat - a cat

Essential Electronics - MacBook, cell phone, iPod

Favorite Perfume - Are you kidding? I can't afford perfume! Does deodorant count?

Gold or Silver - Silver

Handbag - something cheap from Target that's last me 3+years as my only purse

Insomnia - Let's see, I got in bed at 10:30 to check email and turn off the light and I've just written 2 blog posts, checked facebook and both email addresses several times, checked up on the Shiba Inu puppies, and then got back up to take out my contacts and pee. And it's now 12:30 am. Not exactly insomnia, but I certainly don't get enough sleep.

Job Title - therapist, coordinator, sales person, friend, neighbor, volunteer, crazy busy lady

Kids - 0

Living Arrangements - small 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment in the most wonderful n with a roommate who is engaged

Most Admirable Trait - I'm empathetic, almost too much so

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior - fighting with my brothers when I was supposed to be babysitting. That stopped as soon as they got bigger than me!

Overnight Hospital Stays - 0

Phobias - getting stabbed in the back, some heights

Quote - "I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way." - Carl Sandburg

Reason to smile - good friends in a warm kitchen, sharing over a homecooked meal or a glass of wine

Siblings - the best brother a girl could ask for, and another one whom I can't wait to see again in heaven one day

Time I wake up - alarm: 6:30, me: 7:15

Unusual Talent or Skill - I can cross my legs and swing between my arms. I used to be able to play the piano over my head, sitting under it backwards, with my hands crossed.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat - brussel sprouts, cooked carrots

Worst Habit - easily distracted, realizing I wasn't listening until it's too late

X-Rays - both arms, two separate occasions

Yummy Stuff - raw oysters, tirimasu, fresh berries, dark chocolate, hot apple cider, Bailey's on the rocks

Zoo Animal I Like Most - orangutan

Please Let There Be A Next Time

Somehow I need to figure out a regular blogging schedule. I suppose that finding time to write is a little like finding time to eat breakfast. Except that I can't grab my computer and write on the way to work like I can a can of "delicious" SlimFast.

Anywho, tonight I went to dinner with a friend and couldn't stop smiling the whole way home. Yes, this friend happens to be a guy and I happen to rather enjoy spending time with him. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until just after he moved 4 states and 12 hours away, which makes spending time with him very difficult. Thank goodness for holidays and that his family is all still here, so he visits occassionally.

The last time he came home, everyone wanted to see him and the most I got was a group lunch where he sat barely within shouting distance, but this time I got him all to myself over a wonderful pasta dinner. Just like when I visited him up north, we talked for hours. HOURS! I don't do that! I am incapable of carrying on conversation with anyone for that long, being an introvert and living in my own world more often than not. But this particular friend? Well, he seems to bring out something different in me and I like it. I like having rambling, meandering conversations that look like the branches of an old oak tree or a river that just keeps on going and never stops. I think we could have talked all night, at least I know I could have and I'd like to think he felt the same way. Even as I drove home I kept thinking of things I meant to ask him about but will have to save until we talk again. Sadly he had to make it an early night so that he can run a race tomorrow morning, but I have hope that there will be a "next time."

It's an odd feeling not to be obsessing over someone, but rather just enjoying their company and never wanting the conversation to end. To not want to rush things or get ahead of myself, but instead let things marinate and see where they go, if they go anywhere at all. To end the night with a hug and a "see you in a few days" and get in the car with a contented sigh and dreamy smile.

The Unexpected Prize

Have you ever bought a box of cereal and found an unexpected prize inside? I'm not talking about the box of cereal you bought just for the decoder ring or 3-D puzzle of Johnny Depp. No, I'm talking about the regular old box of cereal that you bought because it's what you like, and then one early morning as you pour your breakfast and barely keep it in the bowl because it's 6:30 and you just went to bed 5 hours ago, a really amazing toy falls out. Something you could actually use! Like a spoon with Indiana Jones or a necklace. There you are, just going about your business, and you get an awesome, completely unexpected prize. Pretty sweet!

Tonight was one of those nights for me. On Monday nights, my group of friends in our apartment complex gathers to drink wine and watch football. We usually go to one couples' apartment, but they needed a break this week so I volunteered to host. I sent out a great invitation (if I may say so myself), bought a bottle of wine, made bruschetta, lit candles, and washed the bathroom towels and rugs* Oh, and I even remembered to turn on the football game. We were ready to party! Ready for the hilarity and bonding and community that we experience every Monday night! Ready for wine and football!

One person showed up.

One.

I made enough bruschetta for 10 people.

But here's the best part: the one person that showed up? Yeah, it was the crush. Mr. "I've Known Him For 5 Months and He's So Not Into Me." And so we spent the next 2 hours watching the game and talking and drinking wine and beer and it was nice. When he left, it suddenly hit me what had just happened! I'd been wanting that moment for months and I finally got it! And you know what? It was nice, just nice. Not earth-shattering, not "omigod i'm inlovewithhim," not uncomfortable, not amazingly easy . . . just nice. And that's awesome! I can live with that. My little unexpected treat? I can use that. Use it to continue building our friendship. Use it to prove to myself that I am capable of being a normal human being around him.

And the best part was still to come: He left his keys ;-) So that means I got to chase him down and we talked a while longer. Almost as good as getting two prizes in your cereral box!!

*Word to the wise: Don't wash light green towels and red bath mats together, no matter how big a hurry you're in and how many times they've been washed before. At least I have an excuse to buy new towels.

The Cheerio Rut

Hey there, cereal lovers!

My cereal lately has been in a bit of a rut. I'm stuck on Honey Nut Cheerios for at least the next 2 weeks because it was buy-one-get-one-free. It's not that I don't like Honey Nut Cheerios, it would just be nice to mix it up with a little granola one morning, or even some Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Ruts. Ever been in a rut? I'm in a bit of one in my life right now. I won't bore you, dear Cereal reader, with all the details, but things aren't changing. In fact, they only seem to be getting worse. Not in a "oh no, the walls are crashing down and my life is over" kind of way, thank goodness. No, it's more that I'm in a place I'm not really happy with and I can't seem to make it better on my own. I pray, I read inspirational quotes and the occasional self-help book or web site, I turn to the Bible, I write, give myself pep talks. I even try to spend more time with friends to convince myself that I am happy with where I'm at. But, um, I'm not.

And so today I took a deep breath and called a counseling center. A therapist. Someone to remind me that I'm a decent human being and to point me back in the right direction. It was a scary call, I won't lie. But when I hung up, I knew I'd done the right thing. I was scared, relieved, even excited, but I was not embarrassed. Doing this on my own isn't getting any result, it's time to call in reinforcement.

Now, if you're a new Cereal reader, please don't think that this blog is all about me and my dark days and my upcoming therapy sessions. I'm not that dismal! I'm actually a pretty normal woman. . . Well, define "normal."

My Honey Nut Cheerio rut may be here for a while longer, but I'm getting out of my personal rut and I'm excited! How do you get out of ruts? Out of those dark, icky times?

When Does Hope Become A Bad Thing?

I've been without cereal for the last few days. Between Halloween festivities and sleeping in and volunteer work, there just hasn't been time to get to the grocery store for milk. It was a toss-up: grocery shop or finish making my Halloween costume? The costume won, hands down. And I have to say, it was a pretty good one!

I got a little ambitious this year and decided to actually SEW parts of my costume. Bad idea. Well, actually it was a good idea, just one that should have started a few weeks earlier since I don't know how to read a pattern or sew anything beyond a basic pillow. But it turned out pretty well, if I may say so myself, and I got a lot of compliments on it. No, I won't tell you what it was. Stop asking ;-) (Name that movie!)

Halloween night was one of those nights when I forget how old I am. When I forget that there are consequences to drinking copious amounts of alcohol and want to kick myself the next day for doing some pretty stupid things in front of people I really don't want to be doing stupid things in front of. When I suddenly relapse to college behavior. I pretty much made an outright fool of myself in front of my current hard-core crush and my only redeeming hope is that he was just as gone as I was and doesn't remember what an idiot I acted like. He's still speaking to me, so there's hope.

Hope. When it comes to crushes, when does hope become infatuation? Obsession? 5 months we've known each other. 5 months we've run in the same circles and seen each other all the time in groups of our friends. 5 months I've been interested. 5 months he's been friendly, but shown no romantic interest. And yet I still hold onto hope that maybe one day I'll do just the right thing or say just the right words to pique his interest and he'll want to spend time with just me. Everyone else knows I like him and thinks he'd be a great catch. When will he realize this? And why did he leave the concert tonight without even saying goodbye?

Friends, let me remind you that I am a 29-year old woman. Why, then, do I feel as if I'm behaving like a 14-year old girl? Surely I am not the only grown woman out there who goes through this kind of thing. Do you have any painful crushes or nights you'd rather just forget ever happened?