The Unexpected Prize

Have you ever bought a box of cereal and found an unexpected prize inside? I'm not talking about the box of cereal you bought just for the decoder ring or 3-D puzzle of Johnny Depp. No, I'm talking about the regular old box of cereal that you bought because it's what you like, and then one early morning as you pour your breakfast and barely keep it in the bowl because it's 6:30 and you just went to bed 5 hours ago, a really amazing toy falls out. Something you could actually use! Like a spoon with Indiana Jones or a necklace. There you are, just going about your business, and you get an awesome, completely unexpected prize. Pretty sweet!

Tonight was one of those nights for me. On Monday nights, my group of friends in our apartment complex gathers to drink wine and watch football. We usually go to one couples' apartment, but they needed a break this week so I volunteered to host. I sent out a great invitation (if I may say so myself), bought a bottle of wine, made bruschetta, lit candles, and washed the bathroom towels and rugs* Oh, and I even remembered to turn on the football game. We were ready to party! Ready for the hilarity and bonding and community that we experience every Monday night! Ready for wine and football!

One person showed up.

One.

I made enough bruschetta for 10 people.

But here's the best part: the one person that showed up? Yeah, it was the crush. Mr. "I've Known Him For 5 Months and He's So Not Into Me." And so we spent the next 2 hours watching the game and talking and drinking wine and beer and it was nice. When he left, it suddenly hit me what had just happened! I'd been wanting that moment for months and I finally got it! And you know what? It was nice, just nice. Not earth-shattering, not "omigod i'm inlovewithhim," not uncomfortable, not amazingly easy . . . just nice. And that's awesome! I can live with that. My little unexpected treat? I can use that. Use it to continue building our friendship. Use it to prove to myself that I am capable of being a normal human being around him.

And the best part was still to come: He left his keys ;-) So that means I got to chase him down and we talked a while longer. Almost as good as getting two prizes in your cereral box!!

*Word to the wise: Don't wash light green towels and red bath mats together, no matter how big a hurry you're in and how many times they've been washed before. At least I have an excuse to buy new towels.

When Does Hope Become A Bad Thing?

I've been without cereal for the last few days. Between Halloween festivities and sleeping in and volunteer work, there just hasn't been time to get to the grocery store for milk. It was a toss-up: grocery shop or finish making my Halloween costume? The costume won, hands down. And I have to say, it was a pretty good one!

I got a little ambitious this year and decided to actually SEW parts of my costume. Bad idea. Well, actually it was a good idea, just one that should have started a few weeks earlier since I don't know how to read a pattern or sew anything beyond a basic pillow. But it turned out pretty well, if I may say so myself, and I got a lot of compliments on it. No, I won't tell you what it was. Stop asking ;-) (Name that movie!)

Halloween night was one of those nights when I forget how old I am. When I forget that there are consequences to drinking copious amounts of alcohol and want to kick myself the next day for doing some pretty stupid things in front of people I really don't want to be doing stupid things in front of. When I suddenly relapse to college behavior. I pretty much made an outright fool of myself in front of my current hard-core crush and my only redeeming hope is that he was just as gone as I was and doesn't remember what an idiot I acted like. He's still speaking to me, so there's hope.

Hope. When it comes to crushes, when does hope become infatuation? Obsession? 5 months we've known each other. 5 months we've run in the same circles and seen each other all the time in groups of our friends. 5 months I've been interested. 5 months he's been friendly, but shown no romantic interest. And yet I still hold onto hope that maybe one day I'll do just the right thing or say just the right words to pique his interest and he'll want to spend time with just me. Everyone else knows I like him and thinks he'd be a great catch. When will he realize this? And why did he leave the concert tonight without even saying goodbye?

Friends, let me remind you that I am a 29-year old woman. Why, then, do I feel as if I'm behaving like a 14-year old girl? Surely I am not the only grown woman out there who goes through this kind of thing. Do you have any painful crushes or nights you'd rather just forget ever happened?