2009

I'm a little nervous about posting this is my other blog, the one that my parents and friends read. I'm afraid they're going to think I seriously depressed. So I'm posting it here until tomorrow night, then I'll see how I feel about going "public" with it . . .

2008

This time last year I had just finished packing up my entire apartment in Knoxville and moved into the RC in Atlanta. I was reveling in living so close to the church, the gym, and my internship. I had a new roommate, a new place to decorate, and I was almost finished with school.

I just went back and read a few entries from the next few months and it is very noticeable to me what I left out. In my constant efforts to focus on the positive in any situation and not dwell on the negative, to convince everyone, myself included, that everything was or would be alright, my entries from January through April 2008 in no way reflect the emotional turmoil I experienced. And in many ways, am still experiencing the aftershocks of.

This time last year, I felt like I had the whole world in front of me. I was excited about my career, the people I would be helping, the worlds I'd be opening up to patients and their families, the adventures, the job I was sure to be offered. But by the end of April, after three months of crying my way home every day from the stress, I just wanted to sleep for days. Weeks.

I enjoyed some down time. Volunteered, worked out, went to the beach, read, cleaned. A month of that was planned. The additional 3 months it took to find work were not. I passed up an extraordinary opportunity in order to stay close to home and friends and save money. But I eventually took 3 jobs which use my skills and education in some capacity and with that I charge forward.

Am I where I thought I'd be this time last year? No. Nowhere near it. But as always, I try to focus on the positive - friends, family, community, the things I do have rather than what I wish I had. Financial security, a full-time job, health insurance, benefits, a relationship, opportunities to travel, to volunteer stress-free, professional growth, everyday adventure. I had these things once upon a time, then I took a major detour somewhere.*

I don't make New Year's resolutions anymore, but if nothing else, this year I want to get back a little of that me that got left behind on the detour. I'd like to think that 2009 will be a year of self-discovery and self-recovery.

Now, how about some champagne?

*Actually, I know exactly where that detour happened. It was when I made the financially and professionally foolish decision to return to school for a degree in a dead-end, disrespected, misunderstood profession. But that would just hurt too many feelings, so I'll be leaving that out.

The morning after

About that wine . . .

Ouch.

Twitter-wah?

I don't like to give into mainstream hype. I refuse to read or watch Harry Potter* until the day I have kids and they tie me down and make me read it to them. I resisted Facebook for over a year after I heard about it. I haven't read Twilight, I'm not liking The Shack, and 40 Days of Purpose did a whole lot of nothing for me. I returned a brand new Blackberry after 3 days because it was just way more than I need, I have no idea how to effectively use YouTube, and I rarely get pop culture references unless they have something to do with the time period of about 1990-1995 when I actually cared and tried to fit in (aka the awkward early teen years).

But today I joined Twitter. I gave in. I was curious, to be honest, what all the hype was about. But I don't understand it! I write stuff, but who sees it (much like this blog)? How do I find people to follow? Am I supposed to make a profile? And what's with all the # and @ and %$*? Ohhh, and I HATE text speak, or whatever you call it - u, ur, l8tr, idk - drives me batty. Please tell me I don't have to resort to sounding like a 9-year old hyped up about the lastest HSM or whatever is the hot thing of the nano-second.

Damn, I sound like an old geezer. I recall feeling the same way about Facebook, but I finally got the hang of it after week or so.

For what it's worth, I'm going to give it a try. I'd tell you to find me there, but I'm not even sure how to do that!

Update: Just search for "cerealgirl." Heh, I might get the hang of this newfangled thing after all.

*I read the first one and just wasn't impressed. You may throw things at me now.

Story Starter 1 - The Hot Farmer & His Duck

2:32 AM. I'm not asleep. I have lots of work tomorrow, a gym to get to, a vote to cast, a chapter in a book to read, notes to make for my next counseling session, but I'm awake. I've wanted to start some creative writing, a bug that I've had in my brain for a few years now, but have never really known where to start. Then I discovered Story Starters from scholastic.com. And now I'm pleased to introduce what I hope will be a regular feature around here . . .

Story Starters For A Sleepless Night

Tonight the generator produced:

"A birthday message to a hot farmer whose best friend is a duck."

They say it's your birthday, you gorgeous thing
I've written a message cause I'd rather not sing
I hope you have fun and get lots of luck
But come on, can't you get rid of that ratty old duck?

I know that you like him and he's special to you
But his wings fell off before you were two!
You're a grown man now, and a fine one at that
Ditch that thing and let's go make that haystack flat.

Hahaha! Wow that's pretty rotten! But it was fun :)